The next rule in The Rules for being Human.
Rule No.9 The answers lie inside us. The solutions to all of life’s problems lie within your grasp. All we need to do is ask, look, listen and trust.
So if we accept the premise that all of life’s problems and struggles are for our learning and their purpose is to polish us into a better human, it follows that solutions are within our grasp. It is just that sometimes, even often, the solutions are not the ones we think we want. We have made up in our minds, without knowing or understanding all the hidden elements of the situation how we want our problem to resolve so we push and shove, frustrate and exhaust ourselves… and nothing changes. I have been there more times than I would like to confess; it is no fun and in the end things turn out not at all the way I think they should but in hindsight, definitely for the best.
Rule No. 9 dovetails with Rule No. 2 which in part says, the lessons presented are often completely different from the ones we “think” we need and often so are the solutions. We just have to let go and let God because He does know all the unseen elements of any situation. It is important who we ask, look, listen and trust because we can be deceived and we can deceive ourselves. If the answers lie inside us, no one else can be the solution for my problem. Other people can love, they can listen, they can provide practical help, they can pray, and sometimes they can give wise counsel but the problem cannot be fixed from the outside.
Taking time to listen to the pain of others is important. No! They do not want you to tell them how to fix their problem, they need you to listen without judgement and in the process of their talking they will unravel the problem for themselves. This also is why quiet contemplation is so beneficial because in the quiet, feelings, hunches, even words, which are important so do not dismiss them, will come knocking on our consciousness.
Life in many ways is a mystery and there is so much one does not understand but it is true, finding the solutions to life’s problems is an inside job with an outside manifestation of peace.