#4: If the cap fits; wear it.
This is another old British saying, in America, apparently they would say, If the shoe fits; etc.
Whichever one is used, the idea behind the saying is that if someone levels a criticism at another, that person should just suck it up and accept the criticism by wearing whatever cap or label the other has found appropriate to put upon them. Now, some criticism, if done in a humble and caring manner and has the intent to promote peace, can actually be constructive but mostly criticism is destructive and comes from a desire to put another person in their place.
People can and do say all sorts of things about other people; and sometimes it is like, whoa, don’t hold back, say whatever it is you think, no filters needed. This is a rather reckless course of action and there is a lot of truth in that we only see in other people what we have in ourselves, it really is the one finger pointing at another and three pointing right back at ourselves.
I prefer to use If the cap fits; wear it as a tool for self reflection. I have a strategy in place for when people say things about me: so here goes, A Self Reflection Strategy but remember self reflection must be honest.
#1) Is there any truth in the statement made? Yes or No?
If No; dismiss the statement. It is only words and often words reflect more of the speaker’s attitudes and insecurities than the person spoken about.
If Yes, there is some truth:
#2) Is there something I need to do to rectify my speech, attitudes, behaviour? Can I learn something from this? Do I need to apologise?
If the answer to any of these questions is Yes; Just Do It!
Remember, your cap can always be changed. It is called Growth!