A lesson is repeated until it is learned.

The next rule in The Rules for being Human.

Rule No. 4 A lesson is repeated until it is learned. A lesson will be presented to us in various forms until we have learned it. When we have learned it (as evidenced by a change in our attitude and ultimately our behaviour) then we can go on to the next lesson.

Do you know some people who just seem to be stuck? Have you ever felt like this yourself? Like it’s Groundhog Day and the same things just keep on happening over and over again; it’s one bad situation after another and you ask, ‘Why me?’

Well, this happens when you haven’t been paying attention to the lesson that is being offered. Sometimes we are just too stubborn, too pigheaded too, self righteous or even hurting too much to realise that we might need to change our attitude and consequently our behaviour. I was in my early teens when one of my older brothers gave me some very sound advice; it went like this, If you seem to be at odds with everyone else around, the person to look at is yourself. It is you who will need to make some changes; it is not everyone else who is wrong. This advice is consistent with the truth that we cannot change other people, we can only change ourselves but when we do change ourselves we change the dynamics of any situation.

If we look at nature it is clear that nothing grows or comes to maturity unless it changes. The lessons we learn and the changes we make are for our personal growth and transformation into a better human. Rule No. 4 states that when we have learned the lesson, we can move on. I just want to add one more thing that I have found from experience and that is that once we have learned the lesson, we are tested on it. That same circumstance will present itself again just to be sure that we have learnt something and that we respond in a way that would demonstrate our learning, when we have passed the test, then we can move on to the next lesson.

When life is challenging, the question to ask is, ‘What is it that I am meant to be learning here?’ For you can be sure that nothing changes if nothing changes.

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